Special Delivery
by Blue-Eyed-Hime26
Summary: KUSO!Shikamaru has waken up in the middle of the Akatsuki's training grounds!He's been summoned somehow by Hidan and he's struggling to understand why he's there...And the strange bond that holds the S-ranked criminals together...I edited Hidan's language
1. Chapter 1

Shikamaru POV

I opened my eyes, which felt like they'd been shut for years and immediately my head hurt beyond belief. It felt like the pressure of the universe was crushing my skull. I sat up slowly, holding my throbbing cranium and took in my strange surroundings. I was in a large field that contained random training equipment strewn about it.

It was obviously a makeshift training ground for someone who moved around a lot. Out in the middle of the field were 2 men, one was tense and looked annoyed and the second was screaming and erratically throwing his arms around. I was too far away to make out any more details but I caught I few of the shouted words from the angered man:

"Jashin-sama will punish you for this! Don't roll your eyes at me Kakuzu! All of the nonbelievers will pay! Money is merely material, Jashin-sama is a god of gods who provides me with power! What good is money without someone to sacrifice it to?"

And the screaming continued like that... I heard a small giggle from very close to my left and I sprung back landing in a crouching position a few feet away, giving me a good look at the person beside me.

I was not expecting to see the petite girl sitting there with an oversized black and red cloak wrapped around her shoulders. Underneath I could see she was wearing a pair of standard ninja shorts and a pale pink sleeveless turtleneck. She had maroon fingernails and toenails and she wore a big gold ring on one of her fingers. On her bare arms were many crude scars that still seemed pink and fresh.

She pulled the cloak tighter around her when she saw me looking at her arms, forcing me to look up to her face. Her big blue eyes were opened wide with innocent wonder as she watched me. Her plump lips were slightly opened and she seemed caught off guard to see me. Her vibrant blonde hair mixed with the blue eyes made my heart hurt when I realized if was so much like Naruto's. I missed that blonde knucklehead, though I'd never admit it. She had pale skin though, and her cheeks seemed drained of color. Now that I looked closer, she hid it well but looked scared out of her mind of me.

Suddenly she shook her head and sat back down on the grass as if she had never seen me. I raised an eyebrow and watched her continue to watch the men. She giggled again and rolled her eyes but I saw passion in them as she watched (I thought) the annoyed man that had been called Kakuzu. The girl seemed no older than I, at 18 years of age. From her small size I assumed she was either younger than me or malnourished.

"Where am I?" I finally voiced, standing up straight when I came to the conclusion that she wasn't dangerous at the moment.

"Hidan and Kakuzu always go at it like this," she giggled, ignoring my question. "Hidan would do anything for Jashin and Kakuzu will do anything for money. Sometimes I think they'd even kill me!" she confessed with a carefree laugh.

Suddenly she raised her eyes to look at me. "Sit down.", she commanded patting the grass next to her. I was skeptical but I obeyed anyways.

"I know who you are." she stated after a few moments. I raised an eyebrow and looked over at her but her eyes were still trained on the men.

"Shikamaru Nara," she began slowly. "Master of the Shadow Possession Jutsu. Member of Team Asuma...er, rather former member of Team Asuma." she corrected. I stiffened at the mention of my late sensei. She continued speaking, "Teammates are Choji Akimichi: master of the Expansion Jutsu and Ino Yamanaka: master of the Mind Transfer Jutsu."

My eyes widened and she finally turned to look at me with a sad smile, " I'm correct, aren't I?"

I refused to answer turning to watch the men again. I saw her shrug her shoulders out of the corner of my eye and she also switched her gaze.

I was determined to figure out where I was. Okay, these people were obviously ninja but of what rank I was unsure. The cloak around the girl looked familiar and without looking back at her I used my photographic memory to analyze it.

Black with red clouds. I'd definitely seen it before. In a battle? Yes that was it. But it was very significant...

Immediately I was flooded with images of an immortal with a scythe, and stitches... Many stitches...

The Akatsuki.

The realization hit me hard and I sprung up grabbing the girl roughly by one of her scarred arms and held a kunai dangerously close to her throat. She winced when I grabbed her arm.

"Akatsuki scum." I hissed and her eyes widened. I left the kunai positioned at her throat and moved my hand from her arm to her neck. I held her suspended in the air by her neck and she let out a strangled cry that caught the attention of the two men.

As expected the men were immediately standing before me. The one with the silver hair looked livid and the man he called Kakuzu had his eyes narrowed.

"Hidan." I growled, suddenly recognizing him as the member that finished off Asuma. I killed him before but he was immortal. It was only a matter of time before he returned. The man sneered.

"So my delivery arrived." he stated slowly, though if he was referring to me as the delivery or not I was unsure. He kept his worried eyes on the girl I held in my grasp. Kakuzu moved to attack but Hidan put out his arm to stop him.

"Just put the damn girl down." he snarled barely containing his anger.

"Oh her?" I said looking to the finely built girl in my grasp. My eyes raked over her suspended body and I couldn't help licking my lips. Hidan didn't miss this motion and his eyes darkened.

"PUT HER DOWN BEFORE I F***ING KILL YOU!" he screamed stabbing the ground with his scythe in frustration. I narrowed my eyes.

"Why should I?" I hissed, "you took my sensei why shouldn't I take your stupid little whore?" I demanded lifting her higher into the air. She cried out and desperately pried at my hand that had an iron grip on her throat. Her feet kicked wildly and Hidan's eyes widened.

"Don't you dare call her that!" he shouted, "Now put her the hell down!"

I continued my monologue instead, "You're wise to not attack. If you made the slightest move I would've snapped her little neck in two." I said with a smirk.

Hidan's expression went from rage to hopeless and he sank to his knees, clutching the ground. "You don't want her." he whispered. "I killed your f***ing sensei. Just please... Put her down." he begged.

To say I was shocked to have an Akatsuki member on his knees begging me for something would be the understatement of the century! I was blown away and when I looked back at the girl she was watching him with the same intensity she had been watching the training field with earlier. I guess it wasn't Kakuzu she was watching... There were tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Hidan..." she croaked before losing consciousness. I gasped cradling her limp body. Hidan's head snapped up angrily.

"What did you f****ing do to her?" he screamed standing up and brandishing his scythe. I took a step back holding the girl in front of me as a shield.

"She's not dead!" I cried desperately. Hidan lowered his scythe and looked to Kakuzu. The masked man nodded and stepped towards me. I froze but instead of killing me he placed a glowing hand over girl's heart.

Hidan looked on anxiously.

"She isn't dead." Kakuzu noted and Hidan breathed a sigh of relief.

"Let's take her back to the base and get Konan or Sasori to heal her." Kakuzu said. Hidan nodded and roughly snatched the girl out of my arms holding her limp body close to him.

"I'm so sorry." I heard him mutter into her hair.

Kakuzu swiftly reached over and jabbed something in my throat... And then I blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up in a strange and unfamiliar place... AGAIN! I looked around and saw that I was on a small cot in the back of, what appeared to be, a normal living room. There were 2 couches and a recliner; a TV hung on the wall, and a stereo on a table in the corner. The TV was off and the stereo was quietly playing music.

I stood up from my cot and froze when every head turned to look at me with rage. The people occupying the living room turned out to be the rest of the Akatsuki-shocker! There was a black and white plant man, a fishy blue man, a boy with an orange mask, two younger looking guys, one with blonde hair and one with red hair, and sitting haughtily in the recliner was, I recognized, Itatchi Uchiha himself. And this place appeared to be there base. Suddenly knowing that I was in such an enigmatic place I looked around more closely.

I didn't have much time to look though because I was suddenly rammed into the wall. I coughed up blood roughly as the blonde boy shouldered me with incredible force.

Holding my body against the wall he hissed in my face. "How dare you hurt Maddie-chan you bastard? Got no heart, un?" he growled with rage.

"Maddie-chan?" I croaked.

A different hand now closed around my throat and I was pushed higher up on the wall. I was now facing a calmer opponent. The redhead held the blonde back and when I looked in his eyes I could tell he was just as mad, merely hiding it better.

"Yes Madisun-chan. Remember her? The innocent girl you strangled for fun?" the redhead said in a calm voice that was even scarier than the blonde boy's yelling.

I attempted to keep calm but I was sure that I looked as terrified as I felt.

A door suddenly flew open and everyone's heads snapped towards it. Even the redhead stopped and dropped me to the floor.

Out of the door I could vaguely see the shadows of 2 figures and when they stepped into the light I saw that it was the girl. She had a blanket wrapped around her and Hidan was holding her up for the most part.

"Madisun wants to sit out here with you bitches and Konan said it was alright." Hidan said with a smile. I noticed that his gaze never left Madisun. They walked over to the couches and I stood up shakily, recovering from the attacks.

Madisun was smiling and laughing but suddenly she saw me and the smile slipped off her face and her mouth formed a tiny 'o'. Hidan obviously didn't miss a single reaction of hers and he quickly flicked his gaze over to me and glared placing his arms tighter around Madisun.

She finally closed her mouth and looked up at Hidan, motioning for him to come closer. She whispered something in his ear and he pulled back quickly with a frown. She gave him a pleading look and he grudgingly nodded. I was surprised when she began walking unsteadily towards ME.

"You almost killed me." she stated looking up at me.

"It was kind of a do-or-die situation..." I mumbled sheepishly. Being confronted by an adorable and innocent girl who's life I had almost taken was a first for me.

"I would not have done you any harm." she said taking a step closer to me. I froze as she took another step. Then another. Suddenly she was inches away from me.

I'm sure I blushed as she gently caressed my cheek with her hand. I had been away on missions for too long. A woman's gentle touch was admittedly a welcome feeling...

SMACK!

I fell back crying out as Madisun suddenly pulled her hand back and quickly slapped me across the face with a force that rivaled Sakura's.

I faintly heard the Akatsuki members roaring with laughter as I lay on the ground groaning in pain and clutching me face. Silently Madisun came over to me and kneeled next to my head. She lay it in her lap carefully and her hand began to glow as the stinging died down.

I stared up into her mesmerizing blue eyes as she healed me.

"Physical strength is not even my specialty." she informed me quietly.

I raised an eyebrow but kept quiet.

When we stood up the entire Akatsuki was suddenly surrounding us. I- to put it simply-was scared shitless. They quickly forced me onto the couch and I watched them interacting silently.

"Aww Maddie-chan! I was enjoying his pain, un!" the blonde boy cried out. Madisun giggled.

"There is plenty of pain in the world, Deidara." she whispered. The Akatsuki was uncharacteristically quiet and suddenly...

"Tobi has found a pain, Maddie-chan! Right here!" the boy in the mask called enthusiastically holding up the arm of an orange haired man with many piercings as if it were a trophy.

Madisun giggled at the boy and gently removed him from the seething 'pain'.

"Yes Tobi-kun, what a good boy." she murmured to him. "But now we must let Pein-sama go. He's a very busy leader." she spoke softly.

Ohhhh. Pain. Pein. I got it now.

The Akatsuki watched Madisun closely and by the way she handled the S-ranked criminals I could tell they respected her. She was an important asset to them. As much as it pained me, I would have to remember her information for later.

"Sasori-kun, perhaps you and Dei-kun could show Tobi some of your artwork?" Madisun suggested, kindly placing Tobi's hand into the awaiting redhead's hand.

"You all have got half an hour..." Sasori grumbled knowing that he was only babysitting Tobi so a conversation could be had. Tobi excitedly pulled Sasori out of the room yelling about how excited he was to play with Sasori's 'dollies'. Sasori was seething and Deidara followed the two out of the room snickering.

"Thank you for worrying about me." she told the remaining members.

"You got it! Just don't go pulling stunts like that all the time!" the blue man said with a razor-sharp grin.

Madisun smiled, "I'll try. See you in the morning Kisame." she told him. Kisame took the hint and bowed before leaving the room. "Zetsu." she said nodding to the plant man. Itatchi smirked.

"I know where I'm not welcome." he told her before lifting a hand in dismissal and walking away. Madisun smiled and her gaze lingered on him.

She suddenly turned back to face me. "You really are quite ridiculous." she stated.

My jaw dropped. "And why is that?" I managed to ask. She just turned away from me, ignoring my comment, as I had been growing accustomed to her doing. She seemed to only care that she got to say what she needed to, and then to her, the conversation was over.

She turned to the orange haired man who nodded and she gave a small bow before taking a seat on a couch. Now the only one standing was the pierced man. And thanks to Madisun running her mouth, I knew that this 'Pein-sama' was their leader. Also seated in the room was Hidan, with his arm protectively around Madisun's waist, Kakuzu, and a woman with blue hair. I assumed she was Konan since the name had come up a few times before and that she was in the apparent 'operating room' with

Madisun.

"Okay. Will someone PLEASE just tell me what the hell is going on!" I finally cried, breaking a minute long silence. Hidan smirked.

"I summoned you. You're all mine now." he said with a wicked grin. The scary moment was broken when Madisun began giggling wildly. I, personally was glad for the relief of tension but Hidan raised an amused eyebrow and looked down at her.

"What...?" he asked. Madisun turned cherry red and buried her face in his shoulder, mumbling incoherently. Hidan chuckled at her flustered expression and pulled her gently away from him so he could hear what she said. She averted her eyes.

"It's just that when you said that..." she broke off into a fit of giggles again. Konan, being the only other female in the room, seemed to catch on and she also blushed.

"Madisun!" she scolded with an equally as flustered expression.

"What?" Hidan asked in exasperation. Madisun merely gave a predatory grin and slipped herself onto his lap, straddling his waist and snaking herself up the front of his body until her lips rested on his ear.

"Oh it's nothing really, I was just thinking how much better that phrase sounds when you tell me I'm yours... in bed." she whispered, her breath ghosting over his ear.

His eyes turned lustful and he grabbed the younger girl around the waist and ground their hips together kissing her neck, moaning loudly and even making the girl whimper and turn bright red all over again when the sound escaped her lips.

Well, I for one was HORRIFICALLY EMBARRASSED at the seemingly innocent girl's bold statement and the pair's sudden sexually oriented actions. I saw that Konan was still blushing but Pein and Kakuzu easily ignored the two.

That girl couldn't be any older than me and Hidan had to be somewhere in his twenties! Not that you'd be able to tell by just watching them together. He seemed to have the utmost respect for her and she seemed to take control of many of the situations. But the Akatsuki's love lives weren't my concern...

"Summoned me? How and what the hell for?" I demanded.


	3. Chapter 3

"Summoned me? How and what the hell for?" I demanded.

Hidan cackled and gently lifted Madisun off of his lap before coming to stand before me with a wicked grin.

"You. I remember the fight so very well… You're a smart, smart boy. I bet you know a lot of Konoha secrets, dontcha?" Hidan asked with a knowing smile. My stomach dropped as everything began making sense.

"Plus, I bet you've got all sorts of dirt on that Asuma guy. He was part of that special twelve guardian ninja things right? Just like that guy with the creepy glowing hands!" Hidan exclaimed, throwing his hands around in an imitation of Chiriku. I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous the reaper looked.

Pein looked at me with his creepy purple eyes and I shuddered. Hidan looked up at Pein who nodded at him. I wasn't quite sure what that nod meant but I was a bit nervous.

"Well then, let the torture begin." Hidan said with a menacing grin.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"What are you doing here?" I hissed at Madisun from my spot tied onto a medical table. After receiving the okay from Pein, Hidan had dragged me into the medical room that Madisun had been treated in earlier and roughly chained me down.

Hidan growled at my disrespect towards his significant other but kept to himself, sharpening knifes and other various sharp things. Madisun frowned at me and placed a finger tauntingly on my forehead.

"I'm here to make sure Hidan minds his manners and doesn't kill you before we receive adequate information." She said. "So if I were you I'd be nice to me. I might just conveniently look away at the best part. I can get a bit queasy when it comes to blood." She said with a wicked grin.

I scowled up at the girl and shook my head to get her finger off of me. I wasn't worried. This sweet and slightly naïve girl wouldn't allow me to die by the hands of her boyfriend if she had the ability to stop it.

Yeah that was what I thought… Mistake #1 since arriving at the Akatsuki's base.

"You may begin Hidan." She said, taking a safe step away from me. I looked over at Hidan, almost passing out at the mere sight of the weapons he had control of.

"Hidan!" The girl scolded quickly, rushing over and putting his torture devices away. With a pout Hidan surrendered his remaining tools and Madisun walked over to me again.

"I knew you were a sweetheart." I taunted. Madisun glared at me and motioned for Pein to come over to her.

"Take care of my body while I'm gone." She said in a chilling tone, watching my response carefully. My blood ran cold through my veins and her blue eyes suddenly made my heart wretch. Her blonde hair, framing her face so beautifully suddenly made her ghost-like in my eyes. All my senses were overwhelmed and I could only think of one thing; Ino.

I needed her like I needed air and I suddenly realized how long I'd been away from her. I felt so anxious, I wanted her at that very moment and as soon as she entered my mind, she wouldn't get off it.

"Do you miss her?" Madisun taunted. I shook my head furiously and she began laughing. Visibly shaking, I held back tears thinking about beautiful Ino and if I would ever see her again.

"It's bed-time… You little Nara brat…" Madisun sneered, placing a hand on my head. Blackness began creeping into the corners of my vision until all I saw was darkness.

Those damn Yamanakas sure know how to get into someone's head.


End file.
